Bridge over troubled water

I don't know if anyone else who reads this site will know of Ivan Noble, but he is a science and technology writer for the BBC online who was diagnosed with a brain tumour in August 2002. After discovering his condition, he started writing a column every couple of months detailing his experiences in an online diary, covering his marriage, the birth of his two children, his brain surgeries, the chemo, and the remissions. I have been reading his diary since the beginning, and now it seems that it is coming to an end.

Today he posted what he thinks will be his last entry, written some time ago so that when he became too ill to write, he could publish a goodbye. If my memory serves me rightly, this is the third time that his tumour has returned, and this time it is too large to operate on. He doesn't expect to post again.

Although I have never met Ivan, the reading of his column has made him more real to me, as is the case with the thousands of other people around the world who leave comments on the BBC site wishing him good luck and congratulating him on his strength to keep going. And this morning, reading his goodbye, I cried.

So I moan about my life, and I get upset about my failures, and I wish that I had someone to keep me company at night, but I am relatively healthy. I am not optimistic about the future, but at least I have one. I don't know where it is, who it will be with, or how long it will be, but I should be grateful that I can get up every morning and not wonder whether this will be my last 24 hours here. Sometimes I forget this. So, I will take my chances where I can, in case one day my opportunities narrow quickly.