Strange Differences

Hey girl
Where in the world
Did you come from
Hey girl
Where in the world
Do you belong

There are a number of subtle, and not subtle, differences between Canada and England. This should not be surprising really. However, what is surprising is that there are now a number of differences between the me of two weeks ago, and the me of now. Many of which I can't verbalise in any intelligent way.

For instance; I am a money-oriented person. I work hard to get it, and I save it so that in the future I have it if I need it. Recently however, I seem to have forgotten about being parsimonious, and am instead not worrying about money. In fact, I frequently look at flights back to England to see everyone, and wonder whether I can pay for people to come over here! This is not like me.

I also keep having people e-mail me/ring me and say how impressed they are with everything I have accomplished during the last week and a half. Although I don't believe them, and it doesn't feel like I've accomplished anything, this seems to be another change in me - being efficient for once. In fact actually getting on the plane at all was an acheivement, since an hour or so before the flight I was slumped on the floor in between gates, on the phone to my friend Estelle and crying, clutching my bags and being stared at by a large number of travellers.

And yet, nothing seems to have changed. I am still the same person, I have just had to adapt to a whole new set of circumstances. This doesn't mean that I am happy with them, that I am comfortable with them, that I can cope with them or that I won't want to change them. But at the moment I have no other choice. And so, I sit at my computer and do my work like a dutiful girl, hoping that somewhere there is a catalyst for good things just waiting to react for me.

Things that are different here: there are millions of scented deodorants. I am currently wearing 'Raspberry Burst' - and it smells good. Sadly no-one is likely to get close enough to me to notice......dammit!

I am going to start writing letters to people soon, I promise. I did actually do some the other day, but they degenerated into a lot of home truths that really couldn't be sent without scaring the recipients into running away screaming, so I had to abandon them. Sorry.