Another day, another city

And so, I have moved on from Manchester to Leeds, leaving the guy I stayed with for the past two days behind. I had big plans to talk to him about lots of issues; not just are-you-going-out-with-someone-else issues (this stems from a couple of years ago, and I still don't have the answers!) but issues surrounding where I stand, where I ever stood, how he feels, yadda yadda.... When I left he was still in front of the computer battling orcs or some such. Nothing changes....

He doesn't know I have a blog, and he probably wouldn't read it if he did, but since someone else might know him, I shall leave him anonymous. Suffice to say he was the love of my life for a good few years, but only in a completely insecure way, since we never really went out. I guess when I go back through Manchester on Sunday I could try and have a 'sensible' talk with him, but why spoil more hours of computer game play? :o)

So now I am here to see what Leeds has to hold for a night....rock on.....

Is the grass greener?

Just to reassure my readers slightly - yesterday was a good day. After moving from my former residence and giving Greg his bed back, I ensconced myself in another halls, whereupon my lovely host presented me with two tickets to the Man Utd vs AC Milan game and we proceded to Old Trafford to watch it live. Fantastic. Although the game could have been better, it was great to be back at a sporting event.

The evening was spent playing computer games (this was our routine for about five years, so it was comforting to get back into it). Thursday morning was greeted with rain and snow, so I took the bus to my workplace rather than driving (oh, I got a parking ticket the other day, so the car is in my bad books). It was great to see everyone at work again, and they spent a couple of hours telling me that coming back to England was not "giving up" since no-one there would have been brave enough to make the same move I did, and they were all proud of me. I was also offered my old job back if I wanted it, which was nice to hear. Everyone was fab!

I then got on a bus and went up to the University, where I was meant to meet my ex-supervisor from my Psychology days in a cafe. 45 minutes after my sitting there alone with a hot chocolate, I abandoned the place and sought him out in the department instead. Much swearing when he saw me, and much apologising that he had not remembered I was coming (this was what he was like throughout my degree!). But then we had a long and very interesting talk, which I cannot repeat here for fear of breaking confidences, but which boils down to the fact that from being a broken man not so long ago after the death of his wife, he is, as he put it succinctly "In love again." He sat and talked for an hour while I listened to all his plans, and generally beamed as if I was the older person and he the excited kid planning a future. It was really nice to hear. Of course he tried to shock me in the first five minutes of our meeting, as he usually does, but when he saw that I wasn't flinching as the gory details came out, we had a good chat. Another reason to be cheerful.

After coming back to my friend's room and watching some more computer mauling of various beasts, I ventured out once more and took a bus to my favourite pizza place, returning with a chicken and mushroom deep pan that was as good as I remembered. The evening was more computer stuff, and some more interesting and cheering events. All in all, a damn good day.

Which has served to remind me that; love comes along when you are least looking for it, and in the most random of ways (as evidenced by my supervisor); friends can conquer all; I am not admitting defeat by planning to come back to England; even though you may think that everyone is against you, this is invariably a lie. My plans now? I shall stay in Vancouver until about September, and I shall have some fun. I shall book trips I want to go on, stop stressing about the rest of my life, and treat these next six months as the travelling gap year I never had. At the end of this, I shall return to England for a couple of years unless anything comes up in the meantime to change these ideas. The people I love are here, and I think that overcomes any amount of shortcomings that the country may have. Thanks to all for cheering me up and making my stay here so good. And thankyou to everyone out there who commented on my blog. It makes you feel a lot better that people out there, who you have never met, are concerned for your welfare.

The crying game

So when Greg left to go to mass and told me, "Feel free to amuse yourself while I'm gone" I don't think he had it in mind that I would curl up on the bed and have a good sob. Actually it hasn't been a good sob, since I'm too wound up to actually cry properly, so actually it just hurts. But the thought was there.

I am not even sure why I am upset, since I have had a good few days being back here in Manchester. I think I am just pissed off that being back has made me so uncertain of what the future holds for me. Being back in England feels good, and suddenly I want to stay. I know that I can't really do this until about September though, because my parents are coming over to Canada in July, and a friend is coming in September, and I am meant to be in Vancouver to see them. But then if I come back here at the end of September, what will I do? I will still have the same job problems, though I suppose they will be tempered by the facts that I know how the English systems work, I will have my parents for support, and I will be able to see my friends. However, my friends will all be separating around September time, finishing off PhDs and degrees, and finding their own niches. How can I guarantee that if I come back, I will actually see them any more than I do in Canada? Would they actually prefer it if I stayed in Vancouver, so that there is potential for good holidays?! Obviously it is easier to travel round England to see people than it is to get expensive flights in and out of Canada. But am I gambling too much on the fact that they will want me closer to their lives just because I want them in mine?

Some of my friends know where they are going, some have no idea. I was always one of the people who had a definite plan, and now that I don't have one, or it's blown up in my face, it scares the crap out of me. I want so many things, in all areas of life, and I have absolutely no way of coming close to getting any of them. One of the worst things in the world is when you try your hardest to get something, and you give everything you have, but it's still not enough. Even worse is when you know you would be good for something, you know you could help, and you need someone to take a chance on you just so you can show them you're the best person for the job. But they never give you that chance. And so I find myself stuck in limbo, wishing somebody or something would just make a few decisions for me. I have a lot more in my head but some of it's too personal for publishing. So I am going to return to blessed sleep, since for a moment you can forget things like these ever existed....

Mending fences

Is hard, but hopefully worth it in the end.

Rethinking my future?

Today we gave in to food in a big way. After getting up at a sensible hour but not making it out of the house until nearly noon, we headed out to Trof in Manchester for some very late breakfast, and a slice of their fantastic chocolate cake. Then on to Lyme Park, which for those who have seen Pride and Prejudice (the version with Colin Firth) is what doubled as Pemberley Hall. Think Mr Darcy emerging out of the water in a dripping shirt. Need I say more?

Then back to Manchester to the all you can eat Chinese Buffet in town, with Greg, Denise, Eddie, Marlisa and Jeannine. More food (I am ashamed to say that despite the fantastic nature of the place, I could only manage one plateful, since my stomach had still not recovered from Trof some hours before. And for the first time in the history of my visits there, I didn't have dessert!). It was fab to see people I haven't seen for six months though, even if I did spend most of the time in an MSG stupor....

This evening has been spent chilling out, talking, and watching multiple episodes of Celebrity Jeopardy spoofs. And eating sugary alphabet letters, bought from a little sweet shop in York yesterday. I probably won't be able to sleep now, even though I am really tired. I should check all your blogs, but I apologise; I haven't done so for days. You could all have won the lottery or something and I wouldn't know it. Send me some money if so, please :o)

Being here has made me realise that in fact, I do miss England. I think you need some time away from it to appreciate what it's like when you come back. Even though I haven't caught up with half my friends yet, I have been reminded how great they all are, and how much I missed them when I was in Canada. I am seriously thinking about moving back here (maybe not Manchester, but somewhere in England) after September, depending on whether I have found some fantastic job in Vancouver or not in the meantime, and spending another couple of years here before moving back to Canada permanently. My parents want to retire out there, so it would be good to go with them, but at the moment I am not sure that Canada is the place I see my future. A cop-out? Perhaps, but one should always try new things.

A random thought just now (whilst lying here waiting for sleep to come) has made me realise that much of the hurt in my post the other day (the Million Dollar question) may have concealed other feelings; anger, jealousy, and also fear. I no doubt came across as rather scathing concerning the guy whose behaviour I questioned. Whilst it is true that I am upset about the events that unfolded, I must make it clear that there was (and I trust myself on this one) no malice in his actions, and that he did not in any way set out to cause trouble. I am hurt mostly (since Greg asked) by the fact that I hate losing friends, and that I feel like I can't continue to be friends with him while I am confused by his actions. I also miss him deeply, and being in England and therefore not particularly far away from him is extremely hard. I would very much like to see him and give him a big hug, and probably sob for a bit too. However I am stopped by pride and the feeling that this would only mean letting myself in for more potential heartache. All of which combines to make mine a very miserable feeling, which so far I think I am doing damn well to supress. At least I was until I wrote this post. So I guess bed should be the next action. Goodnight.

Our friends in the North

Sorry for the lack of posting recently. The last couple of days have been hectic, involving much driving on my part, and also lots of tiredness. Denise got the coach over to Oxford from London on Friday, and then the two of us drove up to Manchester, taking in Stratford-on-Avon on the way. We got to Manchester just after 6pm, and were treated to dinner by Greg ('coddle' for those who are interested), then making our way to the student bar nearby in the evening for a few bevvies. Today involved more driving, this time to York. I love York, and it's really nice to wander around, but it was bloody freezing today, with a stiff wind. On the way back we stopped in Bradford to go to my favourite curry house, famed for having the largest naan bread in the UK. And believe me, it's large. When Denise posts her pictures of the monstrosity, I shall link to them. Full stomachs and a doggy bag later, we then drove back to Manchester (although I swore a lot in the car when we got back as I got lost trying to get back to Greg's. The signage in Manchester is less than perfect).

When I have more time I will catch up properly with people, but I am tired.... it is weird being back here as I feel like I've never been away. It's great seeing all my friends though! And somehow Greg has managed to fit Denise and I in his very small room, plus suitcases, and that alone deserves much credit....

The million dollar question

Ok, so it's not for a million dollars, but it's for posterity. Answer me this.

You suspect a guy you like (a lot - underline at will) is seeing another girl. Since you and said guy are not going out, this is not a betrayal, but is not good for the ego, since at one time he seemed to like you a lot in return. You try and ask if your suspicion is true, whereupon he flies into a rage and is horrible to you for insinuating such terrible things. Some time later, when things seem to be going ok between you, he invites you to sleep with him. A short time after this, you find he is indeed going out with said girl, not through a message to your good self telling you this, but through the proverbial grapevine. And the relationship started before the offer of a bed. The explanation for this extremely hurtful (upsetting, gutting, did I mention hurtful) behaviour?

Suggestions gratefully received; male or female, chip in and have your say. And there is, as yet, no answer to this question, so I'll just take the one I like most and pretend it's true....feel free to make up entire stories.

Happy haircut

Valentines Day seems to have passed with a whimper, thank goodness, and has been barely noted in our house. Neither of my parents bought the other anything, and I was extremely happy that I was not one of the hundreds of people running around the centre of Oxford today buying chocolates and last minute gifts. I can't remember the last time I was single on Valentines Day, but I could get used to it!!

Today I cashed in my birthday gift from my parents and got my hair cut. I now have a lot less hair (which isn't necessarily a good thing, since my hair is fairly fine anyway, and as she was cutting I was slightly perturbed at the loss) but it looks rather good. I just kind of let the hairdresser do whatever (though my mother was urging her from the background to "do something radical" which luckily she ignored) and I now look nothing like me. In a good way though, I hope. And I have to say, I now really want a head massage, because the shampoo girl was really good with her hands and I could have just sat there and had my head shampooed for hours. Hairdressers rock. I shall show my new shaggy dog look off later this week in Manchester, so friends - prepare yourselves....

I also came home with an adapter so I can actually plug my laptop in to the UK power supply ( didn't think of this until I went to charge it - duh) and a poncho. Yes, I know the word 'poncho' is enough to chill the hearts of most of the population, myself included, but it is actually very inoffensive. It's light blue, wool, and more of a shawl than a poncho. I think M&S only called it that because it sounded more trendy than a shawl. Anyway, even though my mother told me that the only person ever to pull off the wearing of a poncho was Clint Eastwood, I bought it. If nothing else, it's damn warm, and living as my parents do in a 300 year old house, warmth is highly desirable. I must stop buying random items or I am never going to get my baggage home without going over my allowance.

Anyway, even though I reasoned that I should not write a post if I have nothing interesting to say (after reading god knows how many others recently that have droned on about absolute bollocks) I seem to have forgotten my oath, and rambled about my shopping trip. Please forgive me. Hope everyone is well. When I get to a computer which does not rely on dial-up I will read what you're all doing!

Home sweet home

Hoorah, I have survived the flight! Actually it wasn't that bad - a bit of turbulence but nothing out of the ordinary, although landing at Glasgow and then waiting around to take off again was kind of boring. Plus neither me or Denise could sleep, so we were zombies by the time we got into Gatwick. I pointed Denise in the direction of London Bridge and armed her with a map of the tube, so I hope she reached her destination. I then got on a coach and came to Oxford, where my lovely parents picked me up, fed me, showed me how to use the new shower and let me pass out at 7:30pm. Whereupon I slept until 9am this morning with only one brief period of waking up and not remembering where the hell I was.

So now I am eating as much food as I possibly can, reveling in the fact that it is a really nice day here, and am about to go and watch the rugby. Plus I have to take the car out for a spin later so I can get used to driving it - drivers here are just as bad as in Vancouver, and this morning someone reversed into us in Waitrose car park. I also plan to try and work out a rough schedule for seeing everyone across the country, but for now, I will just say that I am in one piece, and thanks to everyone who wished me good luck/happy birthday/happy valentines day. When I am less jetlagged I will catch up on comments and e-mails......

Today, I will be mostly....

.....flying over the Atlantic. Cross your fingers for a good flight, people! xx

The ageing process

So, another year older, and not much wiser. You know you're getting old when:
- Your birthday is such a non-event that you receive a staggering two congratulatory e-mails, and one is from your parents (who incidentally, also give you a Valentines card every year because they know the chances of you getting a real one are very slim....).
- Buying yourself a cinnamon bun at the bakery is the equivalent of 'treating yourself'.
- When you look for a job you don't think about how much clothes shopping you can do with the salary, but how much of a mortgage you could get towards a house.
- Everyone driving cars and going to University looks about 14.
- Every time you pass a garage you moan about gas prices.
- Your most pressing concerns are that your car headlights aren't bright enough, and that racoons might get into your dustbins.
- You go down to the drugstore and despite having got money out just beforehand which is burning a hole in your wallet, you only come out with a pack of playing cards and some chewing gum.

Ho hum. The oldness of 26 was countered somewhat by Shaw sending me some rather funky tights to go with my 70s dress and boots - nice one! I am bringing them to England because I think they're so hilarious....

After a morning of boringness, involving some work, some photocopying of documents and some more work, I heard someone hammering on the front door upstairs to no avail. The house-sitter is working during the day, so I did a mad dash round the side of the house to intercept a delivery person, who luckily turned out to be delivering stuff for yours truly! A fantastic and very thoughtful young man (who now has a large number of brownie points) had sent me half a dozen red roses and a small bear, which is currently watching me as I type. Hoorah for genuinely nice people!!! This thoroughly improved my day, which until that point had been very routine and non-birthday like. I wish I had more time to enjoy the flowers before leaving tomorrow, but they will be here (although in a rather more withered form) to greet me when I get back. And the thought is very much appreciated.

This evening Denise and I drove for an hour to get to an Italian restaurant in Langley, called the Olive Garden. After having got lost for about 10 minutes because no-one in Langley signposts anything other than every 40th block (it seems), we finally found the place and proceeded to stuff ourselves with very nice pasta dishes. The plan was to have a dessert as well, but there was just no chance of that. We came away with leftovers which will do for a fab lunch tomorrow before getting on the plane. And Denise very kindly paid as my birthday treat :o) I have a good flatmate! We toyed with the idea of going to the cinema there as well, but having found it and looked at the options, couldn't agree on anything to see. So we drove home again, and sung to the I-Pod on the way. Now I am tired, but I have had a good birthday. Thankyou to everyone who sent me greetings and gifts - and I hope to see most of you very soon! xxx

Four weddings and a birthday

With two days to go until my birthday, the first celebratory e-mail came to me today - from a guy I had once hoped to date. It also heralded an unexpected announcement; in the one and a half years since we last saw each other, he has bought a house, found a girl, and is about to get married on July 30th this year. The guy moves fast! How come he couldn't move fast when I liked him?! Hmmph. Not that it would ever have worked anyway, since his cuteness only barely overcame his lack of drive to actually do much. But at the time, I was fairly annoyed at his inability to recognise an opportunity when one came along. Strange, the paths that lead us places, and the seemingly innocuous acts that direct people to different fates.

Anyway, the notification of yet another impending wedding sent me into temporary shock, with more than a bit of "What on earth am I doing wrong here?" Four good friends my age are getting married in April, May, July and another July so far this year. Last year there were three such weddings. All but two of the above were fairly unexpected in terms of announcements, and the people in question had only been seeing each other for an average of about a year and a bit before popping the question. (That reminds me, there is also one future marriage that is currently unscheduled). It's official, I have hit the time of my life where everyone is getting married apart from me. The fact that it coincides with my 26th birthday and Valentines Day just makes it hit home that little bit harder.

This doesn't bother me in terms of wishing that I was in any of these people's shoes, and I'm not jealous that people I have fancied are now happy with other people. I don't really consider marriage as something that I am desperate to accomplish, since I would be quite happy to just have a long-term partner. I think that is where my dissatisfaction lies. So many of my friends, even those who at one time were totally emotionally screwed or never seemed likely to settle down, have suddenly found people they want to spend the rest of their life with. Not for them the rejection and the broken heart that comes with just another relationship - this is where they stop searching and finally settle. That kind of security is what I long for. I don't have to have marriage to acheive it, I just need to find someone who is in love with me and wants to build a future together. Seeing everyone else doing it makes you wonder where you are going wrong....

And yet I have other friends, perhaps friends who I would consider more dear to me than those who are happily planning wedding dresses, who are definitely not contemplating marriage. I am by no means alone in my 'Miss' status. However, how many of these people are single? Perhaps two or three. Again, the question comes - why so? I confess myself beaten and unable to answer this one. It's not for lack of trying, believe me. Do I try too hard? Do I always go for the 'wrong man' (usually the ones still in love with past girlfriends - I have a 4/4 batting average with this one. That can't be coincidence). This is all said with detachedness, since I am not really that upset about this, just curious about how life works. After all, someone has to be the old spinster and cat lady! I am doomed from the start anyway, since as my friends will know, I am the most unmotherly person ever, and do not want to have kids. Try finding a guy to get married to who doesn't want kids at some point in their life. Talk about narrowing your choices down to the bare minimum!!

Dan and I agreed the other day that we had got to the stage in life where we didn't want to have a relationship with someone if we couldn't see ourselves settling down with them. I can see that there are arguments for and against this point of view. It may be the case that until you go out with someone for any length of time, you can't tell if you want to settle down with them or not. In that case, it would make sense for you to try the relationship. But I myself feel that I have passed my days of going out with someone just because I am fairly attracted to them. If someone asks you jokingly one day, "So when are you two getting married then?" and you recoil from the idea in horror, what are you doing? Other opportunities may pass you by while you settle for the convenience of having someone to share a bed with and be attached to. I don't want to be in the position where I know for sure that there is no future in my relationship, but I'm too lazy to do anything about it. So it kind of sucks to be single, but I cling to the hope that the person for me is just waiting quietly in the wings, ready to sweep me off my feet and send unexpected wedding announcements out to people in the next year or so. Now, what colour shall we have the flowers.........

PS

By the way, I'm adding Zack Braff to my list of bloggers. Not because I have any personal friendship with him (though if he ever reads this, have you ever considered visiting Vancouver?) but because he's funny, down to earth, and talented. And because he actually wades through the 3,000 or so comments left on his blog and takes the time to read each one. Nice!

Counting down

Firstly, I'm not going to go into this whole debate again, but I thought this was interesting.

Secondly, it's now four days until I fly to England. I am scared, excited, apprehensive....all these things and more. Fitting everything in my suitcase is going to be interesting, as is the flight (and by this I hope I mean quiet and with good films). My goals are to get a good haircut, not crash the car, and have a good time. Hopefully I can score three out of three!

After having drunk nearly two litres of Coke whilst watching the Superbowl (I have a caffeine allergy) and having watched 'Maria Full Of Grace' which has lots of scenes of people being stressed and feeling ill on planes (I can't stand flying), I am now very twitchy. Dreams tonight will probably not be good.....

Saturday night lively

After my semi-not-quite resignation from my work, I find that actually they owe me a week of pay as well. Which is a bummer, since they appear to have paid it to someone already, according to their records. I don't know who they paid it to, but I imagine the person in question is happier about it than I am.

Yesterday Denise and I unwrapped the Nintendo DS systems and tried them out, purely to make sure they worked. About two hours later, she finished playing Mario and I finished with Zoo Keeper, and we actually changed out of pyjamas. Hey, I was just being a good friend and making sure we weren't giving anyone shoddy merchandise! The evening was then spent partly in a 'Footage' pub, which was kind of a strange English-esque experience (where I had fish and chips), and partly in the Book Warehouse searching for bargains. I ended up with some strange and very large book on a fantasy LOTR type theme, which sounded pretty bad but was $1.99. So I can take it to the airport with me, read it while I'm waiting and on the plane, and then discard it at the other end. Or leave it on the plane for someone else, and it can become a very well-travelled read. Who knows, it might be the best two dollars I've spent on a book, but somehow it looks pretty bad. I shan't publish what it is here cos I might get sued.

Today I went on an all-day course about Group Lodging Operations in a disaster situation. This was held in the E-Comm building here in Vancouver, which is where your 911 call will go to if you have an emergency in South BC. The building boasts bullet-proof glass, earthquake-proof construction, and other such measures to stop it falling down if something nasty happens. It was an interesting place. Made more interesting by the fact that it is directly opposite Playland, which is part of the Pacific National Exhibition family and is centered around a really cool wooden roller coaster (very CSI). The views from the park over to the North Shore mountains are amazing, especially today when there was snow on them and very clear air. Anyway, today I learnt how to set up an evacuation centre in the event of a disaster, how to manage it, and how to prepare to be called out at stupid hours of the morning. On this theme, I have to sort out an emergency kit in the near future, since they literally expect you to grab your bag and leave if you are needed. Plus I am completely unprepared if the earthquake does hit us, since everything of value is scattered around my room and I have no copies of important documents. I don't even own a flashlight. Shame on me.

And this evening, after getting Thai food that tasted good but that took an hour to get here, was cold when it arrived, and included spring rolls that were soggy, we watched The Village. I don't want to spoil it for anyone out there who hasn't seen it, but I didn't see the twist coming at all! I'm not sure what I thought of the film in general, or whether I thought it was 'good', but the revelation was impressive. And tomorrow comes the Superbowl...... mwahahahahaha......

Healthcare and hash browns

Turns out I didn't really resign from my job after all - they didn't actually get the e-mail that I sent when I had a good old rant at their system. So I had to forward it to them again, which kind of took the impetus out of resigning in the first place. But then I got the chance to add a little bit more in and take a little bit out, making it less of a rant and more of a strongly-worded argument. I hope. We shall see in a few hours from now.

I got my first taste of Canadian healthcare today. I finally kicked myself up the arse and went to the doctors to have a blood test, since the amount of time I spend sleeping has become ridiculous over the past few weeks, and I still feel tired. In England the doctors tend to sit and listen to you tell them your symptoms, or more accurately not listen to you, but instead write notes or doodle or distract themselves in some way while they listen to your hypochondria. They then tell you, without examining you, that you probably have a virus, or flu, and that they can't give you antibiotics because they don't like to do that nowadays. The number of times I've been told to go home, take a couple of days off, rest and take aspirin is disproportionate to the number of non-virus/flu/aspirin illnesses I've had. Anyway, this doctor asked a lot of questions about my medical history, my diet, my recent exercise, my living arrangements, stress, boyfriends, yadda yadda.... Then I had my thyroid glands checked, my neck checked, my pulse taken, my skin colour tested, my eyes looked at.... I was sent for blood and urine tests at the lab round the corner (itself scarily efficient - go in, take a number, immediately get your blood taken, take urine sample, put urine sample in cupboard, leave) and was told that when I came back to get my results a full physical would be done. Renal function, various tests, I wouldn't be surprised if the guy whipped out a CAT scanner from the corner and started recording brain maps.

All of which is comforting, even if you spend some time hoping they don't tell you you need a prescription, since it's not covered by the provincial healthcare plan. And even better, they cut my age by 7 months after there was confusion over the 09/02/79 or 02/09/79 recording system. However the lab made me go back and tell them they had it wrong, dammit.

After coming home and recuperating by scoffing the only thing I could find to eat in the freezer, hash browns (not hash brownies, as Dan was shocked to hear I was eating), I sallied out to Richmond in search of Nintendo DS systems for my lovely (read: computer game mad) friend in England. Who wanted not one of the things, but two, along with three games. Having found that the website wouldn't let me order two, since there was a limit of one per household, I had to drive to the only store which had any in stock and bat my eyes at the salesman to let me break the rules. $581 later, I came out with what he wanted. I pray to god they get to England without being broken in my suitcase or lost in transit, as my bank account will have a serious malfunction if something happens. Denise and I are planning to try them out before we take them to the UK, just in case they don't work, you know - purely in the interests of science and all that. Although I am generally pretty bad with games that need any quick reactions whatsoever, hence my love of adventure games or puzzle things, where you sit there and work stuff out in your own time rather than getting beaten crapless by some level 6 druid with the stone of Zahfakrakjshf in his possession.

We debated buying a canoe this evening in case the soon-predicted massively shattering earthquake hits here in the near future, so we can ride the waves that sweep the rest of the city, but gave up on the idea. We'll settle for a wheely bin each instead. So then we spent our money on Dominos pizza and The Aviator at the cinema. Which actually was a lot better than I thought it would be, since I have an immediately dislike of Di Caprio in any film he's in, and the fact that the thing was 3 hours was doubly off-putting. But to its credit, the film went quickly, and was very interesting, if a little unsettling in its portrayal of the descent into mental instability. The kind of thing that makes you fear what the next few decades may hold for you.* Or is that just me?

Anyway, on a more positive note: an application form for assistance with paying my healthcare premiums came through the post today, and the Neil Squire foundation sent me the e-mail of someone that I should contact about affiliating myself with them so I can research the MS project, so tomorrow is a day of letter writing and e-mailing. And seeing what my boss says to me when my e-mail finally reaches her. Ouch.....

* On this depressing subject, my mother and her older sister have this pact that if one of them goes doolally, the other one will put them out of their misery. My questions regarding how this will happen without the other being charged with murder, and how this can be accomplished if both of them lose their marbles at the same time, have yet to be satisfactorily answered. But it's nice to know they're making contingency plans.

Groundhog Day

I watched my father's chemistry show online this morning, which was fantastic, though I admit that I am biased in this view. It was strange knowing that a few thousand miles away, he was blowing stuff up and making small children scream in fear. He was also burning a hole in some poor unsuspecting person's £20 note. This was not meant to happen, I hasten to add. The note was soaked in a chemical that basically combined alcohol and water, meaning that when set alight, the alcohol would burn off and the note would be protected by the thin layer of water. In theory. In practice, my father didn't actually soak the note properly, and hence had to stamp out the flames threatening to consume the note, much to the glee of the school kids watching. The poor teacher he borrowed the note off will probably never encourage any of her kids to do Chemisty ever again.

Today is one week away from my birthday (nearer 30 than 20, eek), 8 days away from our flight to England, and 12 days away from Valentines Day, though the last one (and to some extent the first one) are generally not worth celebrating.* The flight, however, is to be looked forward to - in a sense. Anyone who knows me will know that I have a problem with planes in general, and ten hours in the air is enough to send me totally insane a few times over. I get through flying by making myself tired the day before and then trying to sleep through most of the flight. When I flew over here, the fact that I had been sobbing for an hour solid before getting on the plane did wonders for my sleepiness, and also my nerves. I was past the point of caring whether the plane stayed in the air for most of the flight! Plus two of the movies were Shrek 2 and Harry Potter, so they were actually worth watching. Anyway, I am excited about seeing my parents again, and am already planning all the nice food I want to eat when I'm home....

I planned to go running today, I really did. But then I realised that my running shoes were still soaking from being muddied during filming on Monday and being washed yesterday. So instead Denise and I made, and ate, pancakes with maple syrup. This was due to our mistaken belief that today was pancake day. Actually, it was Groundhog day, which for those who don't know (and I was one of them this morning) is where people in Canada (and the US) ask certain groundhogs how long the winter is going to be. I mean I knew there was a film about this, but I thought someone had just made it up. Not so. There are a few places in Canada where people gather to watch (named) groundhogs come out of their burrows, and check the weather. If the groundhog sees his shadow, and is frightened back into his burrow, then we will have another six weeks of winter. If the groundhog stays above ground, and doesn't see his shadow, then spring is going to come quickly. The original Canadian groundhog was Wiarton Willie, who died some years back but has now been replaced by Wee Willie. And today, apparently, he predicted that spring was coming. Although two out of the four active groundhog psychics in Canada predicted that winter would be here for another six weeks. Which sucks for us mere mortals who don't have a nice warm burrow to hibernate in.

A quick observation: despite my lack of a job, a love life, or a will to get fit, I am having a surprisingly sane period, you'll be glad to hear. I have lost a little weight since being here, toned up a bit, met some nice people (does messenger count as 'met'?), and have stopped putting myself in positions that are bad for my emotional stability. Now all I need is to stop being irrationally afraid to fly (undergrad modules on human error in aviation disasters have a lot to answer for...) and I will be sorted. But then I guess I'd have nothing to blog about. Swings and roundabouts.

Another observation: I asked my parents for a haircut for my birthday. Now if that isn't the action of someone becoming an old and boring mid twenty-year-old, I don't know what is!!

*Actually, having said that, I miss those days at school when you had the Valentines postbox and got to send cards to all the people you fancied, marked with Xs that were so obviously in your handwriting. I think that tradition should be carried on. I might just randomly send out a load of Valentines cards just for kicks! Look out world....

Events around the globe

As you have perhaps seen from my last post, Ivan Noble passed away on Monday after losing his final battle with a brain tumour. My condolences to his family and his friends, and indeed my best wishes to everyone affected by serious illness in some way.

After a pretty crap morning, the rest of the day has been ok. I kind of half-resigned my job, but we'll see what they say in reply to my e-mail telling them this. Can you really resign from being self-employed? Anyway, now the need to find a decent job here is more pressing than ever. I idly perused the Boston job pages and was pained to see that there were loads of jobs I wanted to apply for. Pained because I really have to stay in Vancouver until September, as people are coming to see me over the summer and they can't really swap their flights to the opposite side of the land mass.... But I guess it's nice to know that if I want to get a job elsewhere, there seem to be some that are available. Shaw - I'm assuming you'll take me in and give me floor space! Otherwise I will have to sleep in someone else's car :o)

The film agency I registered with have work for me after I get back from England, though I don't know what. This isn't a full time job, though it is fun. I've been e-mailing various organisations and University departments to ask if I can affiliate myself with them so that I can get funding for the MS research I want to do, but again I have this problem with people not e-mailing back. Though I did send my resume to someone on the offchance, and they wrote back to ask if they could keep it on file. It was better than a straight no at least.

So my father is doing his chemistry show tomorrow. It starts at 6:30pm UK time, which is 1:30pm eastern time and 10:30am here. You can find the Oxford University Chemistry department website here. Click on the link towards the middle right of the page (the Oxford Chemistry Show) and find the live streaming webcast if you want to. It will last about 50 minutes.....and should be fairly entertaining! Please don't blame me if it's not though :o)

The story ends

The day has started badly, and I can only hope it gets better.

PS It did get better. I bought hot chocolate.